I'll Never Rest Until You're Safe in my Arms
by Toshirokun13
Summary: Forbidden. That's what Toshiro Hitsugaya was to Ichigo Kurosaki. Old friends pushed apart by a jealous and abusive lover. Will Ichigo be able to overcome all the odds to win the young genius's heart or will they be torn apart forever? IchiHitsu
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: So, I all of a sudden had this huge urge to start writing this story because the idea has been running around in my head for quite some time now and I really wanted to start writing this and see how it went and honestly, I'm pretty proud of how the first chapter came out. As you may or may not have noticed on my profile, this is probably going to only be four or five chapters long, but nonetheless I'm very excited to see what you guys think. :)**

Disclaimer: Neither Toshiro nor Ichigo or even _anything_ Bleach belongs to me, all Kubo's.**  
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><p>"<em>I'm... I'm sorry, I can't… be seen with you anymore..." The boy said slowly as he stood right outside the other teenager's front door. It was pitch black out and the sky looked like it was about to storm, but hadn't quite gotten to that point yet.<em>

"_Why…? We've been friends for years… and now you're telling me that just because of this guy you started dating not even a month ago, we can't even be friends…? That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard!" Another boy yelled from his position just inside the house._

"_I don't have a choice!" The other yelled right back on the verge of tears._

"_Yes, you do! Just dump that good for nothing creep! I never even understood why you started going out with him in the first place! He's no good for you!"_

"_How would you know! You haven't spent more than an hour with him since we started going out!"_

"_I just know… okay…?" The boy inside the house muttered quietly. "I know the kind of guy he is, and you just gotta trust me…" The other said nothing so he continued. "If you don't believe me then just think about why you're here right now!"_

"_I'm here because you're important to me and I don't want to see you getting hurt!"_

"_Yea, it's a little too late for that…" He mumbled. "I'm just begging for you to think this through a little more…"_

_That seemed to throw the younger male over the edge as huge, pearly white tears started flowing from his large teal eyes. "YOU DON'T THINK I'VE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH! YOU DON'T THINK THAT THIS IS ONE OF THE HARDEST THINGS I'VE DONE IN MY LIFE? I'VE THOUGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING AND EVERYONE-!"_

"_WHAT ABOUT YOURSELF, HUH?" The larger male loudly interrupted. "Are you truly happy with this decision…?" It was hard to miss the desperation in the larger male's voice as he tried to place his hand comfortingly on the other's shoulder. The young boy right outside the door didn't answer right away; of course, __**he**__ would ask __**the one**__ question that the tear streaked teenager hadn't quite been able to answer himself yet. Slowly, he attempted to brush the tears from his own eyes as he gazed upwards and his cool teal met a warm chocolate brown._

"_Y-Yes…" he said shakily. "I am."_

_The second the words left the other's lips, the one standing just inside felt as though his heart had just shattered into a million pieces so small that it would take years to put them all back together. That was it… it was over._

"_I see…"All emotion that was previously present was now gone, his tone was monotonous and in a way… dead. "I guess this is goodbye then… … though can I just ask one question before you go?"_

"_What?"_

"_Why? Why him…?"_

"_B-Because…. I… I love him."_

"_How could you love such a monster…?"_

"_You wouldn't understand!" The smaller male yelled and as if on cue, at that moment the sky decided to tear open and very soon the younger male outside was soaked as the rain started to pound down on his small form. "HE LOVES ME AND… AND… I LOVE HIM TOO!" Not being able to stand there a moment longer, the smaller male took one last glance at the broken and betrayed face above him uttering a quick, "I'm sorry, Ichigo…" before quickly whirling around and dashing out into the unrelenting rain that fit the atmosphere so perfectly it was almost uncanny. _

_It took a few seconds for the strawberry to process exactly what had just happened. He couldn't let things end like this… he just couldn't. _

"_TOSHIRO…! WAIT!" He called desperately into the storm, when he received no answer he bolted out into storm without a second thought. Unfortunately, no matter how fast or how far he ran, the rain refused to reveal the young white-haired boy he so desperately needed to find, wishing all the time that he had been able to tell the younger male what he knew he should have in the first place, "I'm sorry, Toshiro."_

xx

The next second, Ichigo found himself bolting up right in bed trying to remember when it was that he had fallen asleep. He remembered that he had gone out and partied with his friends last night, it was their way of trying to keep his mind off of a particular someone that never seemed to leave his thoughts. Not only that, but they were also savoring the last bit of summer vacation they could; school was starting up in a little less than a week and not a single one of them were the least bit ready to go back and be forced to give up their freedom to do whatever the hell they wanted, whenever the hell they wanted. Like for instance, going out on the town and partying till three in the morning in the middle of the week.

Trying to shake off the oncoming hangover he knew was coming, Ichigo slowly shook off his covers and stumbled across the room towards his dresser where he knew that he would be able to find some much needed aspirin. Once he had swallowed the pills and walked back over promptly slouching right back onto his bed before glancing over at the clock on his bedside table.

_Hmmm… 2:30…_ _Slept later than usual…_ Ichigo thought dismissively to himself. With nothing else to occupy his mind, he felt his thoughts drifting back to the dream he had been having before he woke up… well, I guess dream per say, wasn't the best choice of words… _memory_ would probably be better used to describe the moment that had been haunting the strawberry for the good part of the two years since _that_ night.

_God dammit, Toshiro. Why… why can't I stop thinking about you…?_

_Well, that's obvious. You're still in love with him. Duh!_

It was true though; that wasn't something Ichigo was even going to try and deny. About the last year or so the strawberry had been hanging out with the young genius he had started feeling something new… something way more than just a simple bond between best friends and it wasn't until the moment after Toshiro ran out of his life that he finally realized his feelings for the boy; but it didn't matter anymore… it was too late. The prodigy obviously didn't feel that same way and that was just something that he had learned to deal with, but never quite accepted. He was always hoping that by some infinitesimal chance, Toshiro would realize that he didn't love Gin and that he had made a terrible mistake in choosing the creepy fox-face over himself, then run back to him and telling him how he had loved him all along… but that kind of stuff only happened in the movies, right?

"Ichi-nii! Are you awake yet? Dad wants to know if you want to come to the movies with us!" Ichigo's younger sister Yuzu, called from below. Ichigo casually strolled over towards where there was a small hatch-like door in the floor that led downstairs; you see Ichigo lived in the attic of the Kurosaki household. It wasn't like he had been banished up there or anything of it sort, he just liked his room and his privacy. The room itself was _huge _considering it was all just one big room with no walls separating anywhere from anywhere else and gave Ichigo all the space he ever wanted to do whatever without the worry of someone accidentally wandering into his room unexpectedly.

"It's not one of your chic-flicky romances, is it?" Ichigo asked warily. The last thing he wanted on his mind right now was anything that had to do with some stupid movie romance or anything of that sort.

"Nope." Yuzu called back half-heartedly. "I chose the movie last time so this times it's Karin's choice and that huge action movie that she's been talking about for forever for just came out, so I would think that we are probably going to go see that."

_Good. If Karin is choosing today then I don't have anything to worry about watching any mushy stuff; she hates romances even more than I do. Not to mention, I don't even want to think what's going to happen if I stay up here all day by myself… scratch that, I'd go crazy, that's what I'd do._ "Okay." He finally called back down to Yuzu. "Just give me a second to change before you guys rush out the door, will ya?"

"Great!" She called back, "I'll go tell Karin and dad you're coming. Just don't take too long, okay? You know how Karin hates waiting when she has a destination in mind."

After shutting his door, Ichigo walked back over towards his dresser and pulled out whatever shirt he could get his hands on first before continuing to put on a pair of jeans that unlike the ones he was wearing didn't smell like alcohol, smoke and whatever else had managed to permeate its material the previous night. As he was changing shirts he went over towards the only window in the attic and saw the other Kurosaki's crowded around the family car. Ichigo had just stepped away from the small window when all of a sudden he heard Yuzu's voice again, but this time she wasn't, as he had originally thought, talking to him.

"Good afternoon, Hitsugaya-kun!" She called cheerfully, catching the young boy off guard and causing him to jump slightly.

Ichigo was back at the window in less than a second; it couldn't really be… could it? But, just like Yuzu had said, there was… standing frozen right in front of the Kurosaki household, none other than Toshiro Hitsugaya. Ichigo couldn't believe his eyes… even after only seeing glimpses of the boy for two long years, he was still as breathtakingly beautiful as ever before. His short and fluffy white hair that smelled like freshly fallen snow, his large teal eyes that had always been able to melt Ichigo on the spot and of course his slim and slender figure that the genius despised so much because it made him look like he should be in elementary school instead of high school. But then, the image shattered when Ichigo saw that as always, he wasn't alone. Practically glued to his side was the man that had taken Toshiro away from him so unexpectedly… Gin Ichimaru.

Ichigo could only stare at the boy he loved, knowing that it would never be. He wished that he could run downstairs and outside and sweep the young prodigy off his feet and declare his love for him; but as much as he wanted to, he knew he would never get the outcome he desired. Toshiro opened his mouth as though he was about to reply to the youngest Kurosaki, but instead shifted his gaze ever so slightly from the three people in front of him, up. Up towards the highest window on the small building, right behind where Ichigo happened to be standing, still awestruck. For the smallest of instants the two boys looked straight into each other's eyes, Toshiro's eyes widening when he realized who exactly was standing beyond the window he was gazing at so intently.

Without any warning or any kind of notice, Toshiro's eyes were ripped from the strawberry as Gin suddenly hauled him down the street with a clear scowl decorating his long face and then a few seconds later the pair completely disappearing from Ichigo's view.

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><p>Another week came and went and Ichigo hadn't seen Toshiro since the day he had gone out to the movies with the rest of his family. Today was the first day back at school and Ichigo found that he was in a worse mood than usual… he had overslept and so he hadn't had enough time to shower, so he ended up just throwing on whatever clothes he could find before sprinting downstairs to grab a really quick breakfast. The strawberry had gotten all the way to the end of the street when he realized that he had forgotten to pack all of his new books in his backpack and had to run back to the house and switch out his books from last year with books for the new year before finally being able to get on his way. After almost full out sprinting the rest of the way to school, Ichigo finally got to the building mere minutes before the bell rang to signal everyone to go to their first class. His first class was math and it was probably the one class this semester that he absolutely despised. Ichigo was never much of a numbers guy, but had always been able to pass in the end because he would always beg Toshiro, or someone else more recently, to help him study for the final.<p>

"Yo, Ichigo!" Someone called out suddenly as the strawberry had finished putting everything away in his locker. He turned around to see a whole group of people walking towards him. Renji led the pack, followed closely behind by Rukia, Rangiku and Hisagi.

"Hey guys." Ichigo replied as he shut his locker and turned around to greet his friends. Ichigo noticed that both Rangiku and Hisagi were lagging behind quite a bit more than anyone else.

"What happened to them?" He asked Renji as he tried to suppress a slight chuckle at the sight of the two teenagers.

"The two genius's over there decided that they would end their summer with a bang and went over to a party at Gin's place last night and got drunk off their asses." The redhead laughed. "They've got major hangovers and I've been laughing at them practically all morning."

"So, I'm guessing that you and Rukia decided to pass on the festivities then?"

"We made some festivities of our own." Renji smirked as he put an arm around Rukia's shoulder and pulled her closer to him. Rukia and Renji had been dating on and off for the past year or so and judging by what he had seen, Ichigo thought it was pretty safe to conclude that as of right now they were back on. Who knew how long it would last though? One time, Renji and Rukia had gotten back together and broken up again all in a span of a few days; so no-one really knew how long the couple would stay together.

"What class do you have first, Ichigo?" Rukia asked curiously.

"Math…" Ichigo groaned. "How about you guys?"

"Both Renji and I have history together and I think Rangiku suckered Hisagi into taking some sort of literature class." Rukia replied before Renji had a chance to open his mouth.

Ichigo couldn't help but laugh at this; everyone but Rangiku knew that Hisagi had a _massive_ crush on said strawberry blonde and whether she knew it or not, she was always convincing him to do the craziest things with her because of it. Like for example, getting wasted at a party the night before school started, or perhaps taking a literature class that boys like him really had no business being in in the first place.

The bell rang loudly, which caused Rangiku and Hisagi to gasp and clutch their sensitive heads trying to stop the pounding; then Renji and Rukia proceeded to say goodbye to Ichigo before heading off in the direction of their history class.

Ichigo figured he might as well make his way towards his class as well, but couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy. He had somehow always managed to get one of his friends in his math class before, whether it was Renji, Rukia or even that smartass, Ishida.

_Oh well, I guess I'll just have to make do._ Ichigo thought casually to himself as he approached the classroom he would be confined to for the next hour and a half. The bell ran right as he entered the classroom and he quickly sat down in the back where there were only two empty chairs. Sitting down swiftly and grabbing his notebook out of his bag, he surveyed the room and as he had feared before he didn't know a single person in the class. _Oh well, who needs to pass math anyway?_

The rest of the day seemed to just blur together in dull haze and Ichigo was beyond the point of simple relief when he finally was able to venture back out into the warm and much more welcoming, sunny day. Ichigo, Renji and Rukia had planned during lunch to walk home together because Renji lived just down the street from Ichigo and Rukia was planning on spending the afternoon at Renji's, but when he arrived at their usual meeting spot neither the redhead nor the short black-haired teenager were to be found. Ichigo looked down at his watch, _Wow… and I thought I was the one that was going to be late… Rukia is usually the most prompt of us all anyway…_

In the time that Ichigo was able to scan all the students happily talking and laughing amongst themselves, the strawberry felt a slight buzz from his pants pocket and withdrew his cellphone to find a message from none other than one of his MIA friends.

**Rukia not feeling well, gonna take her home. Sorry man.**

_Brilliant._ Ichigo thought to himself as he sent a quick text back to Renji before walking out towards the school ground exit. He decided to take his time getting home because he really didn't have any other plans for the rest of the day so he might as well enjoy the nice weather while he could.

Ichigo approached a small intersection that wasn't really used all that much anymore, but it was usually a pretty good place for pedestrians to cross because very few cars frequented it. The strawberry approached the intersection noticing that there was only one other person and Ichigo had been just in the process of stepping out into the intersection when something caught the corner of his eye. A pair or what looked like extremely expensive sports cars were driving with incredible speed towards the exact intersection where he had been just about to walk into. Though, the funny thing was that even with the engines revving loudly and both men hollering obscenities at each other, the boy who was already half-way out into the street at this point hadn't, for who knew what reason, seemed to notice the impeding cars yet.

"WATCH OUT!" Ichigo yelled as he found himself racing out into the intersection and practically tackling the younger male to the ground not even a second before the two drivers flew past them, completely oblivious to the fact that they had almost nearly mowed down two teenagers.

A loud shout brought Ichigo back to his senses as he realized that he was still clutching onto the boy he had pulled off the road a split second earlier.

"S-Sorry." Ichigo muttered before finally being able to see the person's face of whom he had just tackled. "Are you oka- T…Toshiro?"

"Ichigo…" the younger boy whispered, clearly as confused if not more than the strawberry. Ichigo instantly tried to untangle himself from the smaller male, but instantly froze when he heard the other suddenly gasp in what was either surprise or pain… or both.

"S-Sorry about the whole tackling you…" he apologized nervously; hoping that he hadn't accidentally injured the boy, "I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"I'm fine." Toshiro replied all too quickly for the strawberry's liking.

"You didn't sound fine a second ago."

"I already told you… I'm fine." Finally, Ichigo was able to get back up on his feet and extended his hand towards Toshiro in an attempt to help the boy up, but the hand was slapped away as the genius slowly got to his feet and started to shift his feet nervously. "I…I should be getting home…"

Ichigo knew that he might not ever get this chance to be along with Toshiro again and he also knew that if he let the boy leave _just like that_, then he would sorely regret it later. "Wait... you don't have to go _right _now do you?" he asked hopefully.

"Actually… I kind of do." Toshiro muttered softly.

"Yea, yea… I know, I know. You don't want your precious Gin to see us together…" Ichigo stated rather bluntly. "I just wanted to make sure that you're okay… despite the fact you no longer want anything to do with me, I still care about you." He smiled.

Toshiro's eyes widened in surprise and possibly …regret? But as fast as it had appeared, it was gone and Toshiro had his cool mask of calmness back upon his face. "I never said that!"

"Maybe not in those exact words, but I can read into things, despite what some people may think."

"You haven't changed a bit, Ichigo."

"Neither have you." The strawberry chuckled.

Toshiro sighed; there had always been something about Ichigo that made things between the two feel so natural… guess that hadn't changed either. Somehow the strawberry had something about him, whether it was something he always said or did that just made talking to him and relating to him so much easier than with anyone else. "It's not that I don't appreciate what you did for me just now, but don't think this changes anything…"

"We'll see about that." Ichigo chucked. "I did just save you from being a pancake, so don't you think I should be able to see if you're doing okay after the fact?"

"You're impossible."

"I know."

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><p>After the brief encounter with Toshiro, Ichigo had been in exceedingly high spirits for the rest of the day and he even was still feeling the effects of finally being able to talk to Toshiro for the first time in two years, after he awoke the next morning. He had gotten up at least an hour earlier than usual and even decided to make breakfast for everyone even though Yuzu would usually be the one preparing breakfast normally.<p>

"Wow. You seem to be in a really good mood today, Ichi-nii. It's not usually like you to be the first one out of bed. Usually, you're the last." Yuzu giggled as she wandered into the kitchen.

"Yea, I don't know. I just have this feeling that today is going to be one of the best days I've had in awhile."

"Well, that's good to hear! Karin was starting to talk about something having to do with 'beating some life back into you' if you didn't cheer up soon and even though dad doesn't show it, he's been worried too." Yuzu finished as she sat down on the opposite side of the kitchen island than usual and started eating the eggs and pancakes that her brother had already made. "Wow, Ichigo! These are delicious!" She cried cheerfully.

"Glad you like um. I just tried to do everything that you do when I watch you cook sometimes in the morning." Ichigo replied a slight blush making its way into his face as he explained his sudden talent for cooking breakfast. Ichigo continued chatting with Yuzu for awhile about nothing in particular when Karin and Isshin both stumbled downstairs.

"Why exactly am I even up right now… I'm not the one who has to go to school." Isshin muttered sleepily as he trudged over towards the coffee maker.

"Idiot." Karin quickly replied. "Don't you want to make sure your children get safely off to school like a normal father?"

"I'm a great father! Right my darling Yuzu?" Isshin yelled as he rushed over towards where Yuzu was finishing up her breakfast.

"Riiiight." Karin replied before Yuzu had even looked up.

Ichigo's gaze just so happened to land on the small wall clock across the room from him when he realized that he had to leave to school within the next few minutes unless he wanted to be late.

"Well, I think I'm gonna go up and change then head off to school."

"Okay!" Yuzu called after her brother from her place still in the kitchen. "Hope you have a good day, Ichi-nii!"

"So do I." said boy muttered to himself as he continued up the stairs to his bedroom.

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><p>So far, the day hadn't been exactly going as well as it had started. Ichigo did manage to get to school on time, but then he had tried using the few free minutes he had to see if he could find a certain white-haired boy, but found himself running into a certain redhead instead.<p>

"Sorry Renji, but I'm kinda busy right now." Ichigo apologized as he kept walking down one of the school's congested hallways.

"Doing what exactly? Cause it looks like you're just randomly wandering the halls trying to avoid me…" Renji grunted as he followed the strawberry that was currently weaving in and out of the crowd.

"I'm not really avoiding you, as much as I'm looking for someone else." Ichigo muttered as he continued trying to stand on his toes so that he could attempt to see over the large crowd of people.

"And who exactly are you looking for…?" Ichigo didn't answer, knowing exactly what the redhead would say if he did, but of course Renji would find out either way, so it was really a lose-lose situation for the strawberry.

"It's Toshiro isn't it…?" Renji groaned. "Comon Ichigo… you just need to accept the fact that Toshiro doesn't belong in your life anymore; he's with Gin, end of story." Ichigo sudden ceased all searching so that he could turn around and give his full attention to his supposed best friend.

"Well, you know what, Renji?" Ichigo hissed. "I can't. I've tried for the past _two years_ to accept that fact and you know what? I can't, I just can't." Then, without another word Ichigo stormed away from the still dazed looking Renji deciding that his search would be more promising anywhere that Renji wasn't.

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><p>Ichigo hadn't had much luck for the remainder of the time before school started on his search for Toshiro and now was slowly walking towards his math class. <em>Oh boy, the day is just getting better and better…<em> _Where else could Toshiro have been this morning…? I know he still goes to this school because I've caught glimpses of him over the past two years... _Ichigo started counting on his fingers all the places he had checked that morning. _I checked all the men's bathrooms, I checked the library, I checked the cafeteria and I must have run through the hallways at least five times..._ The strawberry hung his head in defeat as he entered his math classroom and saw that the entirety of the class was already in their seats, talking happily with the people around them while the teacher was busy at their desk trying to grade papers. The whole classroom seemed bursting with energy, well… except for one corner of the room where one person was lazily gazing out the classroom window; a young boy with… snow-white hair.

"Toshiro!" Ichigo called suddenly, startling the boy out of his daze as he rushed over his desk, haphazardly dropping all this things onto the conveniently empty desk next to the boy.

"I-Ichigo… what are you doing here?"

"What does it look like? Getting ready for class. Duhh." The strawberry laughed. "And I should be asking you the same thing. How come if you are in this class as you say, then why didn't I see you yesterday?"

For the slightest of a second, something made the young genius's whole body freeze up, but whether it was something that he had said or just some random thought that had crossed his mind he didn't know; but Ichigo could tell that Toshiro's body continued to tense as he seemed determine to look everywhere in the room except to make eye contact with him. "I uh- wasn't really… feeling good; so I wasn't able to make it."

"But then, I saw you after school…" Ichigo reasoned, the unsettling feeling in his stomach refusing to subside.

"Y-Yea… It wasn't so bad in the afternoon, so I just came after lunch…" Toshiro muttered, unconsciously pulling down on the lengthy sleeves of his shirt. "Ichigo… we really shouldn't be doing this…"

"Doing what? I just wanted to ask you how you were feeling considering I saved you from being a pancake the other day." The strawberry countered as he tried to keep his tone casual.

"I already told you yesterday, you caught me by surprise and that's why I yelled. Thanks, but I'm fine."

"I am curious about one thing…" Ichigo said as he desperately tried to keep the conversation going, but when Toshiro stayed silent he had no choice but to continue without the other prompting him. "How come your beloved Gin wasn't with you yesterday to save you from getting mowed down by those cars? I think I've only seen you without him like twice in the past two years."

"He's out of town for the week… wouldn't tell me why. He just said that something came up that he had to check out and vanished a few days ago."

"Not that I care, but it just seems odd, don't ya think?"

"It's really none of your business, Ichigo." Toshiro grunted.

"Yea, I guess you're right." Ichigo laughed nervously. "Sorry, Toshiro."

Luckily for Ichigo, before the awkward silence could set in the tardy bell rang and the teacher stood up before calling the class to order and starting on the lesson. It was a pretty boring lesson from Ichigo's point of view. Not to say that it was easy, oh no, he was bored for the simple fact that he had absolutely no idea what the teacher was talking about.

"Toshiro… hey, Toshiro…! Heeeeey!" Ichigo whispered persistently until the young genius finally turned to face him with an annoyed scowl on his face.

"What…!" the boy hissed as he momentarily looked away from the problem that he had just finished writing in his notebook.

"How do you solve problem 5?"

"We've been working for fifteen minutes and you've only gotten five problems done?" Toshiro asked in disbelief when he gazed down at his own paper seeing that at the bottom of the page where his most recent problem had a small, elegantly written 23.

"Well…" Ichigo laughed. "I actually skipped number three, because it looks like gibberish."

"Wow…. Your math skills are as good as ever, by the looks of it." Toshiro managed a small smile when he thought back to when he and Ichigo had still been tight and he had always gone home with the strawberry practically every day to help him with his math homework.

"Well, considering there is only fifteen more minutes in class and I know you'll never be able to explain all this to me in that short period of time, why don't you stop by my place after school and you can help me. You know, kinda like old times." Toshiro was about open his mouth to shoot down the idea when Ichigo beat him to it. "And then before you say 'we shouldn't be doing this' just think about it, okay? Don't worry about Gin. You said he was out of town right…? So you got nothing to worry about, yea?"

Toshiro sat frozen on the spot for what seemed like forever. He knew that this was a bad idea… it had catastrophe written _all over it_. Then again… Ichigo had a point. Gin was out of town, he would never have to know about this one visit to the Kurosaki household; it wasn't like it was going to become a common occurrence either.

"Fine. What time do you want me to come over?" Toshiro whispered. He knew he was going to regret it, but then there was just something about it that just seemed right despite it being so wrong.

* * *

><p>The rest of the day was significantly less eventful as Ichigo spent what seemed like every second until the bell rang thinking how the hell he had convinced Toshiro Hitsugaya, the boy that had been avoiding him like the plague for the past two years, to come over to his house for a study date well- maybe it wasn't a date <em>officially<em>… he was still regrettably in a relationship with Gin, but just the simple fact of being able to spend some quality time with the boy for the first time in forever was more than he had ever hoped.

Being careful to make sure he packed everything thing that he would need for the afternoon, Ichigo shot out of the school like a rocket being sure he made it back to his house in time for him to get everything ready and also to make sure that his family didn't make complete fools of themselves while Toshiro was over, which was a very real possibility considering the person he had for a father.

He arrived home in record time and rushed upstairs to change and then rocketed into the kitchen to try and find something that he could serve as a snack so that they had something to munch on while they worked, or more than likely, while Ichigo worked on finishing his homework.

"You throwing some sort of party today, Ichigo?" Karin asked as she walked in the door with Yuzu right behind her.

"Ooh! Ichi-nii you look very nice today! Are you having a certain special someone come over today?" Yuzu giggled as she watched a very subtle red tinge make its way onto her brother's face. Yuzu always seemed to be able to read her older brother like an open book and always had a habit of knowing exactly how he was feeling at any given time just by seeing how he looked or what he was doing. She must have gotten it from their late mother because Masaki always had that gift when it came to any of her children as well.

"You got me, Yuzu." Ichigo chuckled and was cut off from anything else he might have said by the sudden shrill ringing of the doorbell. The strawberry's heart started racing, there was doubt in his mind who was on the other side the front door and for a split second he felt as though his feet had been glued to the floor and he wouldn't be able to move even if he wasn't frozen to the spot. Ichigo didn't think he had ever felt this nervous about anything in his entire life and he really had no idea why… he was just having an old friend over to help him study. _An old friend that you have wished for the past two years was more than just your friend._

"Aren't you gonna go get that, Ichigo?" Karin asked, one of her eyebrows raised in question.

Ichigo just nodded as he finally managed to get his legs to move and made his way as quickly as he could to the door.

"Tch… took you long enough, Ichigo." Toshiro grunted as he was beckoned inside by the still silent strawberry. Karin and Yuzu who had been curious as to whom had gotten their brother so riled up, looked around the corner and when they saw Toshiro standing there, everything made sense. They greeted the boy quickly before retreating up to their rooms knowing that their brother would appreciate having some alone time with the white-haired boy.

* * *

><p>"Ichi-nii!" Yuzu called from the kitchen. "Is Hitsugaya-kun staying for dinner?"<p>

"How about it?" Ichigo grinned as he slammed his math book shut. "We've been working forever…!"

"We've only been working for two hours, Ichigo." Toshiro pointed out coolly.

"You know what I mean." The strawberry replied playfully as he stood up to stretch out his sore body. "Shall we?"

"I'm not really hungry…" the young genius muttered, all of a sudden very quiet.

"Yea, he is!" Ichigo yelled suddenly.

"I-Ichigo… I told you I'm not-"

"Mhmmm… you know that was really more of a statement than a question." The strawberry grinned wickedly in Toshiro's direction as he grabbed the smaller's wrist and started pulling him towards the dining room. He could feel the younger male's arm tense, but didn't think much of it, contributing it to the fact that he had simply caught the smaller male by surprise.

The two teenagers walked into the room, where Ichigo quickly ran over to where Yuzu was standing trying not to drop everything that she was carrying and leaving Toshiro standing awkwardly by the table.

Luckily, Yuzu being the person she was realized this fairly quickly. "Hitsugaya-kun, do you want to go grab the plates in the kitchen? That way you're not just standing there bored?"

"Okay." The genius nodded as he wandered back into the kitchen looking for the plates. Yuzu had set them on the counter right by the sink and Toshiro quickly grabbed the plates, not wanting to keep the Kurosaki's waiting. The plates weren't the most stable things in the world and so Toshiro was careful to walk slowly so as to not disturb the plates' shaky equilibrium. What he hadn't expected was for Ichigo to come running towards him to ask him if he needed any help, but instead doing the quite opposite and bumping him the boy just enough so that the top few plates flew off the stack and shattered all over the floor when they made contact with the hardwood.

The three Kurosaki's that had been in the dining room rushed over to where they had heard the crash to find Toshiro staring eyes wide at the floor and Ichigo with an apologetic look on his face.

"Toshiro are you okay?" Ichigo asked frantically.

"Hitsugaya-kun what happened?" Yuzu asked as well as she took the remaining plates from the visibly shaken Toshiro.

"Sorry…" Toshiro muttered as he bent down and started trying to clean up the mess, but only succeeded in giving himself a particularly deep gash from one of the broken fragments. The boy hissed as he instantly drew his hand away, but it was too late the damage had already been done.

"Don't worry about that, Hitsugaya-kun. I'll just go grab a broom and meanwhile, Ichigo why don't you go get that cut of his wrapped up?" Yuzu smiled as she headed back off to the kitchen.

"Comon." Ichigo said as he guided Toshiro back to the living room and instructed him to sit down on the couch while he went and got the first aid kit from his father's room. When the strawberry returned, he immediately started treating the small, but deep gash on the boy's hand. "You know…" Ichigo mused, "You're a lot clumsier than I remember…" he teased as he pulled out a small bottle of disinfectant.

Toshiro remained silent throughout the whole process as he relaxed while he watched the strawberry carefully clean and dress the cut so that it no longer stung. "Thanks." The genius finally muttered.

"You know…" Ichigo said trying to strike up a casual conversation. "I've really missed this... well, missed you."

"Yea…" Toshiro muttered. He knew were the strawberry was trying to take things…

"Something's been bothering me… and if I don't get it off my mind soon, I swear I'll explode…" Ichigo said suddenly as he started fiddling nervously with his fingers.

_Here it comes…_

"Ichigo… please don't do this…" The genius muttered under his breath.

"I know…" Ichigo sighed. "I know that you are happy with Gin, but I just need you to know… how I feel, or rather, how I've felt."

_Ichigo… you have no idea what you're talking about and no idea the danger of what you're about to do…_

"This is probably the worst time and worst way for you to find out like this and if this makes you hate me forever, then at least you know the truth and I don't have to wonder about what may or may not have happened that night two years ago..."

"Ichigo-"

"No, I'm going to say this, Toshiro!" The strawberry yelled, frustrated that after all this time he still couldn't just come out and say those three deceptively simple words. "Dammit. I should have said it then, I should have stayed by you… should have said that I am completely and utterly in love with you, Toshiro Hitsugaya."

"I-I…" Toshiro breathed, but after that couldn't form any coherent words. Why couldn't he just make up his god-damn mind! _It would never work! I just… I just can't risk it! I can't risk __**him**__! _He was in the middle of frantically trying to come up with something that he could possibly say because he knew that Ichigo would wait all night for a response if that was what it would take. Luckily, the sudden buzzing of his cell gave him the perfect opportunity to escape if even only temporarily. "Sorry, I need to take this…" he muttered quietly before slipping out of the room. "Hello?" he asked into the phone.

"My, my… I leave ya alone fo just a few days an' look what ya do..." Toshiro could have just died there on the spot, his worst fear was about to come true. "Yer such a bad boy, Toshi-kun… here I thought we had an understandin."

"I-I don't know w-what you're talking about…"

"Tha adorable stutter of yers tells me that you know exactly wha I'm talkin' about. Oh an I know yer gonna ask so I might as well tell ya anyway; I neva left ya." Even without seeing him, Toshiro knew the man on the other end was grinning madly. "It was a test ya see? An ya failed babe, so now yer gonna get yer pretty little ass back home now, so I can give ya yer punishment." The voice on the other end cackled. "Ya need ta learn yer lesson. Oh, and don't even think about tellin yer precious lil' strawberry… cause you know what'll happen if ya do."

Toshiro just couldn't believe his damn luck, or rather, lack thereof. Why…? Why did his life just have to be so fucked up…? Why couldn't he have listened to Ichigo in the first place? Maybe if he had, he wouldn't be in this situation… but there was nothing he could do about it now. What was done was done and he wasn't even sure if even Ichigo Kurosaki would be able to help him now.

Toshiro closed his phone and started the heartbreakingly short walk back into the room where Ichigo was undoubtedly waiting for him. He was going to have to go in there and just like two years ago, he was going to have to break the strawberry's heart in order keep him safe and in doing so he was pretty sure that Ichigo wasn't going to be the only one with an absolutely shattered heart this time.

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><p><strong>AN: So, I realize that you readers might have a few questions as to what is going on, but just bear with me okay? I promise to try and clear things up next chapter. Please review? :)**

**Oh, and one last note that I felt was worth mentioning. If you haven't already, you should totally go check out Encore, Encore by xTKx because she is awesome and that story is seriously MIND BLOWING. :D  
><strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I haven't worked on this story (or really any of my stories) in a while so I really wanted to get this chapter going. Lately, I have discovered the amazing-ness that is the show Criminal Minds (seriously its fucking awesome and thoroughly addicting so if you haven't seen it you should totally check it out). It's pretty much been taking up about 90% of my mindset the past few weeks and unfortunately doesn't leave much room for writing... but I was determined to get something up so here you readers go! ^^ Thanks as always for all the reviews as they are _really_ appreciated.**

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

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><p>Ichigo Kurosaki was currently sitting frozen on the couch in the living room just staring blankly down the hallway that led from the room he was in to the front door of the house. <em>It happened again…<em> it was like a bad case of déjà vu… and honestly, the strawberry was having quite a time attempting to process what had just happened mere moments before. Everything had been going so well... what could have possibly happened in the thirty seconds that Toshiro had disappeared to cause such a change his composure and mood the way it did? He just couldn't believe it… it had finally started feeling like old times again… then all of a sudden it decided to blow up his face.

Despite the cut that he had managed to give himself, Toshiro seemed perfectly comfortable in the strawberry's presence for just about the entirety of the night. He left the room for the shortest amount of time to answer some random call, then all of a sudden he came back and everything was different.

"_I have to go."_

"_Wait… Toshiro, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have just blurted that out. I…I just… I don't know…" Ichigo murmured as he tried to gather his thoughts and make a cohesive sentence, but failing miserably as all the sentences fell apart somewhere along the way from his brain to his mouth. _

_Toshiro stood frozen in the doorway, no doubt gathering his words quite a bit more carefully than the strawberry that seemed to be falling apart before him and he knew that what he was about to say would only serve to quicken the process._

"_Yea, you shouldn't have, Ichigo. I don't even know why you bothered trying to get me over here anyway. It's not going to change anything and you might as well realize that now before you get you get your hopes up."_

"_Yea…" Ichigo replied, forcing what had to be the most pathetic attempt to fake a smile. "You're a few years too late for that…"_

_Toshiro realized that because of what he was doing right now Ichigo would probably never want to talk to him again, but then again... it was for the best._

"_Goodbye, Ichigo." The young genius muttered under his breath before taking one last look at the absolutely destroyed look in the other teenager's face before focusing his gaze once more on the carpet beneath his toes. He knew if he stayed he any longer he would probably crack, and that was not an outcome that could come to pass as much as there was a tiny part of him that wished it would. Knowing that a certain someone was probably counting the minutes, Toshiro decided that he would not be able to postpone his departure any longer… the faster he got out of here, the faster the strawberry would forget about him._

_Ichigo barely had time to look up and try to think of something, __**anything…**__ that keep the object of his affections from leaving, before he saw a blur of white and gazed dumbstruck as said boy walked out of his life for the second time in two years._

_Toshiro…_

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><p>Ichigo hadn't moved from his position in the living room since Toshiro's departure and he would have probably stood there all night if Yuzu hadn't finally wandered in to the room to see how Toshiro was doing.<p>

"Hitsugaya-kun…! How is your-?" Yuzu started to say before she realized that there was a distinct absence of white-haired boys in the room and the fact that something was seriously off about her older brother. She had entered the room from behind Ichigo, so her attention wasn't initially drawn to the shocked and hurt expression that decorated his face, yet she knew that something was wrong… her brother was so stiff; it was very unlike him. "Oh, is Hitsugaya-kun in the bathroom or…?" Yuzu asked, still oblivious to the events that had taken place between the two boys. Her brother still refused to move or speak and it was really starting to concern the young girl. "Ichi-nii, what's wrong? You're acting very unlike yourself…" Yuzu had just been about to call for Karin to knock some sense into her brother when he finally seemed to snap out of his daze.

"Toshiro… he's gone…" Ichigo muttered quietly as he very slowly lowered himself so that he was sitting down on the couch and facing his younger sister. He wasn't so sure he wanted his sister to see him like this and had debated just sprinting off towards his bedroom, but that would only serve to worry Yuzu even more and he'd be back to square one.

"Oh." Yuzu frowned as she finally realized exactly how much pain her big brother was in. She knew _all _about her brother's history with Toshiro. Even though she had been pretty young, (it _had_ only been a little over two years ago) she still remembered about how the two boys had been nearly inseparable since they were young. She had even been there when Ichigo had admitted that he thought he might like Toshiro as more than just a best friend. She had never judged her brother while he had been trying explore and discover his sexuality; he was still Ichigo Kurosaki, her big brother she had always looked up to and had always protected her, and the fact that he might be gay would do nothing to change that. She even remembered when Ichigo had finally come to terms with the fact that he liked guys and that when he had at last gotten up the nerve to ask Toshiro if he felt the same way he did, said boy had _just_ started dating the new guy in town, Gin Ichimaru. After that, Yuzu noticed seeing Toshiro less and less through the weeks and Ichigo, though he would deny it, he became visibly depressed. He didn't glow with happiness like he had before… he started getting into a lot more fights at not just school, but at home as well. Then, not even a month after his best friend had started dating the new guy, everything fell apart completely and her brother was never the same again. "He seemed like he was enjoying himself…" she said quietly, more to herself than her brother, but he still heard her.

"Yea, I thought so too." The strawberry murmured.

"Maybe it had something to do with the person he was talking to on the phone earlier…" Yuzu mused to herself causally.

"Why would you say that?" Ichigo asked as he finally looked up from the spot he had been staring at ever since his sister had come in.

"Well, I was outside throwing out the plates that broke earlier, but when I came back inside I saw that Toshiro was on his cell-phone at the other end of the hallway and I didn't want to be rude and interrupt him so I stayed where I was. He didn't say much, but when he spoke he sounded really worried and almost… I don't know… scared, I guess?" Yuzu snapped out of the daze she had been in and a thought occurred to her. "Do you think that might have been why he left?"

Ichigo couldn't believe it. Now that he thought about it, the reason Toshiro had walked off in the first place _was_ because his cell phone had started going off and he had excused himself. _That's probably why he was acting so different after he came back!_ The strawberry mentally scolded himself for not having realized this sooner. All of a sudden, Ichigo could feel the darkness that had been crushing him from the inside lift, feeling completely rejuvenated as though he had just woken up from a long slumber. _It wasn't what I said then… it had to be whoever was on the other end of the phones fault! _

"Yuzu, did you remember anything that Toshiro said?" the strawberry asked hopefully, her brothers sudden determination catching her slightly off guard.

"Oh, um… let me see…" She murmured to herself as she brought one of her small hands up to her face, tapping the side of her head with her pointer finger as she tried to remember. "I think he may have said something along the lines of 'I don't know' or something like that… but there was something weird about the way he said it… I'm not sure."

_Hmm…. Not much to go on… _Ichigo thought to himself as he started to mirror his sister's movements, trying to think of what if anything he should do now. Then something that he had thought about earlier struck him… _all this has happened before…_ _last time I couldn't go after him and that's something that I've always regretted… I'm not going to make that mistake this time. I'll do whatever it takes no matter what __**or who**__ stands in my way and if things are indeed playing as they did two years ago then I'm pretty I know who's to blame._ Ichigo quickly stood up, the determined gleam in his eye back where it belonged.

"Well, what are you waiting for, idiot?"

Ichigo turned around knowing the new voice didn't belong to Yuzu and found that as he had suspected, Karin was leaning against one of the walls near the entrance towards the dining room. He wasn't sure exactly _how_ long Karin had been there, but it didn't really matter, he knew she would show up at some point and kick him out of his stupor if he hadn't already done it himself and thanks to Yuzu things didn't have to come to that.

"This is the moment that you've been waiting two years for, isn't it?" Karin prompted again. "So what are you still doing here?" She smiled. "Go out there, get Toshiro and bring him back."

Ichigo smirked, "Thanks." At that point, the strawberry realized exactly how lucky he was that he had the amazing sisters that he did. He always had Yuzu to comfort and calm him, and then Karin to get him going whenever something got him down. Of course he had his idiot of a dad too and even Isshin had times when he could be serious… when he wasn't crying on the poster of this deceased mother that was; which he had to admit was a lot of the time.

"You girls behave while I'm gone." Ichigo joked as he walked towards the small closet in the hallway holding all the family's coats and after rummaging in it for a few seconds pulled out a light jacket before sliding it on.

"We will if you will." Karin added, finally moving more into the room to put an arm around Yuzu as Ichigo started walking away from them towards the door, and more importantly, Toshiro.

"No promises there." Ichigo laughed, waving as he finally reached the door, opening it with ease and venturing out into the cool autumn night hoping he would be able to do what he never could those two long years ago.

* * *

><p>"Toshi-kun… where are ya…?" Gin sang as he was prowling through the rooms in his house. "Ya can't hide from me forever."<p>

_I won't have to hide forever… just until you have to leave or its time for school or something else that pulls your attention elsewhere…_ Toshiro thought silently as he refused to move a muscle from where he was currently crouched. It was small and uncomfortable, but he knew that this was a million times better than anything Gin had planned for him… he just hoped that he would be able to stay out of sight for long enough to distract the older male's attention. He felt his arms going numb from the way he had them wrapped tightly around his legs; his legs had fallen asleep long ago, but he had been too nervous that even if he managed to stretch out his tingling limbs there was always the chance he could knock into something and if that happened… it would game over. It wasn't hard to see the similarities between Gin and a certain ginger-haired creature. Foxes were famous for their cunning and slyness and one who knew Gin knew why a lot of people would compare or even refer to him as a fox; but Gin was also notoriously known for his exceptional hearing and that simple trait right there was the primary cause of why Toshiro was curled up into a ball refusing to move even an inch.

Toshiro had come home just as Gin has said and had stupidly thought that he would be able to explain the situation to his boyfriend about how he and Ichigo hadn't done anything and weren't going to do anything. He had hoped that if he had been able to assure the fox of this then maybe… just maybe they could forget about it and move on.

Not even close.

Gin had practically jumped Toshiro the moment he had walked in the door and there was just something about him that seemed unhinged… beyond anything Toshiro had seen before. He knew Gin was possessive… _extremely_ possessive, but the young genius had never seen him quite this mad. It had to have something to do with the fact that not only was it another guy _this_ time, but it was the one and only Ichigo Kurosaki. Gin knew that if anyone was capable of stealing his Toshiro, it was that damned strawberry. That was why he had been so quick to cut him out of Toshiro's life the second he had had a chance… and it _had_ been working.

Toshiro could hear the floorboards creak as Gin swept through the house in search of his hiding dragon; after all, Toshiro still hadn't been punished for what he had done.

He knew it was only a matter of time before he was found. Gin knew every little crack and cranny of the small house and that was precisely why he hadn't been found yet. Gin was just running through everywhere he knew that would be large enough to disclose his small boyfriend, being sure that nothing was overlooked. Toshiro couldn't seem to figure out whether the time was a blessing or not… sure the extra time allowed him time to potentially think up plan to get him out of this mess, but then again… the longer Gin looked, the less mad he got and the more fun the search became. It became a game and least to say Gin's 'games' were never fun for anyone except the fox-face himself.

"Shirouuuu…" Gin's singsong voice permeated through the thin floor. "Come out, come out whereva ya are…"

The longer he thought about it, the longer Toshiro realized that there was no escaping this situation. Even if for some miracle, Gin didn't find him; what would he do? Just hide in this dank and dark space for the rest of his life? He might as well just go out there and get whatever Gin wanted to do over with. At least then it would be done and they could finally just forget about everything that had happened in the past few days and move on like nothing had happened.

When he was sure that Gin wasn't right outside, the young genius while especially careful not to disturb anything around him, rose unsteadily to his feet attempting to arouse the various parts of his body that had fallen asleep whilst he had been hiding. He had forgotten his cell-phone in the living room when he was initially trying to get away from Gin, so he had no idea what time it was. Though, if he had to guess he was pretty sure it had to be late considering how long he had been avoiding Gin. As he pushed the door open slowly, Toshiro could hear his stomach rumble uneasily. He had missed dinner at Ichigo's because of Gin's call, but regardless the boy wasn't so sure it was the absence of food that made his stomach clench in painful knots.

Toshiro tried to walk towards the living room as casually as he could hoping that he would be able to retrieve his cell phone before coming face to face with his so-called lover, just in case… _things_ happened.

The snow-haired male couldn't say that he was all that surprised when he entered the living room to see Gin perched on the couch twirling a small device between his long fingers.

"Seems ya weren't as convincin' as I was hopin ya'd be." He said simply as he quickly stopped his previous actions with what Toshiro recognized as his phone, _Shit,_ and proceeded to flip open the small device.

"What are you talking about?"

"Yer new boy toy has been callin' ya all night. It's gotten rather annoyin hearin yer phone go off every two seconds."

"He's not my-"

"Ah jus' shut it. I know what ya've been up ta." Gin grinned. "Why though Shirou…? Why do ya all of a sudden want ta leave me?"

"I'm n-not." Toshiro cursed himself silently when he couldn't repress the slight stutter.

"Sure as hell yer not. Yer mine an' don't you forget it." Gin stated matter a factly and without wasting another second he walked over towards where his petite dragon was standing rigid and swiftly captured the boy's lips into a passionate kiss. The fox held nothing back as his tongue quickly started to explore every possible part of the other boy's mouth. Toshiro didn't resist nor did he return the relentless act of affection and in an attempt to get something out of the boy before him, Gin wrapped and locked his arms under Toshiro's ass so he could lift the boy up to his level and push his tongue even farther into the warm and wet cavern. He did manage to achieve a small gasp as he lifted to boy and then a low groan as he refused to let up with his tongue as it easily dominated the younger's.

Finally, Gin withdrew his tongue leaving Toshiro gasping to take in the air that his lungs had been deprived of and placed a much gentler kiss on the boy's forehead only to receive a small and substantially less frigid glare than he had been receiving as of late. Gin simply grinned as he quickly repositioned Toshiro so that he was now carrying the smaller male bridal style despite a slight struggle on Toshiro's part. It was only when Gin started walking away from the living room that Toshiro seemed to snap out of the daze he had been in ever since Gin had swept him up in the kiss moments ago. The small prodigy knew by the lustful gaze in the fox's eye exactly where Gin was rushing off to and honestly, it terrified him. He had learned to deal with many things during his relationship with Gin over the past few years, but there was one thing that had had always refused to give and now it seemed that Gin was tired of waiting for his permission.

"No! Wait… Gin…!" Toshiro yelled as he tried to squirm as best he could out of the fox's grasp.

"Nah, my dear little Shirou. I'm tired of waitin… I been waitin fer this fer two years an' besides what better way ta teach ya who you belong ta…?"

"NO!" The white haired boy screamed as he desperately tried to get away from the fox in any way that he could possibly think of.

"Get… off… of… me…!"

Somehow… by some sort of miracle Toshiro was able to wriggle out of Gin's grip, but as he roughly hit the floor he questioned how he had managed this feat in the first place. Gin had to have at least a good two feet on him not to mention almost one-hundred pounds on him as well… if the fox had been seriously about wanting to restrain him than realistically he shouldn't have had any problem… so then why…? Why did he relinquish his grasp so easily? As soon as the thought passed through his brain he realized he didn't want to know the answer.

"Ah, I jus' love it when yer feisty." The taller, pale man hummed. "Why don't we see how long ya can keep it up?"

There was a part of Toshiro that knew he should run. He knew that things had escalated beyond a simple game of cat and mouse… and yet, he couldn't seem to find the energy to move his arms, legs, head or any other part of his body. It felt like a bad romance movie… right as the abused lover is able to make a break for it, they freeze… frozen by fear of what their lover is going to do next. _How cliché…_ the young genius thought as he continued to mentally yell at his body to do something… anything to get away…

Gin continued to stalk his prey until he had backed Toshiro up into a corner of the room and wasted no time in using his advantage in height and weight to pin the smaller male to the wall as he started to caress the boy's pale features.

Toshiro attempted to turn away from the fox's featherlight touches, but being held against the wall, he didn't have much choice and the best he could do was to keep moving his head as far away from the touches as he could. After just a few sparse moments, Toshiro could see the irritation grow on Gin's face and the touches stopped for a moment before the genius felt a sharp stinging on his face.

"Yer not bein a very good boy, Shirou and I'm gonna have ta punish ya fer real if ya keep this up." Gin hummed as he lightly kissed the exact spot on his lover's face that he had just slapped

Toshiro could feel his shirt pulled off rather hastily, and only thought of one thing as he gazed up into the crazed eyes of his so-called lover.

_Ichigo…_

* * *

><p>Ichigo couldn't have felt more like an idiot than he did right now. He had run out of his house convinced that he would be able to get Toshiro back,but something that he hadn't quite thought through was the fact that it <em>had <em>been two whole years since he had been with Toshiro for more than a few minutes except for in school the past week or so and earlier that night. The strawberry had raced as fast as he could to where Toshiro lived, or at least where he had lived two years ago which was the last time Ichigo had been to Toshiro's place.

_It had only taken Ichigo about ten minutes to run to Toshiro's small townhome and he could feel his heart race as he saw a bright, glowing light shining from the large living room window. _He is home after all… _but it still remained to be seen if he was alone or not and it was more than likely not. Adrenaline pumped through the strawberry's body as he approached the dark-blue oak door knocking as calmly as he possibly could._

"_Hello?" A young lady asked as she slowly opened the door. _

_Ichigo couldn't help but stare at the strange person before him… what was this woman doing in Toshiro's place? Where was Toshiro?_

"_Can I help you with something?" The lady asked again as she also stared at a complete stranger, wondering what this boy was doing at her house in the middle of the night._

_A male voice was heard from farther inside the home. "Trisha? Who's at the door?"_

"_I'm not sure…" She called back._

_Not a moment after, a large man appeared in the hallway and walked towards the door to stand behind the woman whose name was apparently Trisha. "You are…?" The man asked as he raised his eyebrows._

_Ichigo swallowed hard and then finally managed to force something out of his mouth. "Sorry to disturb you, my name's Ichigo Kurosaki… i-isn't this the residence of Toshiro Hitsugaya?"_

_The man rubbed his head for a moment. "Sorry, kid. I'm not sure who this Hitsugaya person is, but my wife and I have been living in this house for just about two years now."_

"_Wait…" The wife muttered as she froze for a moment as though she was trying to recall a certain something from her mind. "This Toshiro…" she hummed, "He didn't happen to be short, slender and have white hair by chance?"_

"_Yea!" Ichigo exclaimed so suddenly that the woman jumped back ever so slightly into her husband's chest."Do you know him?"_

"_Yes." Trisha replied. "I think he actually lived here before us. I remember coming to see the house one day and he was here packing up boxes. I thought that maybe he just worked for the packing company because he looked so young… much too young to be living by himself. But it actually makes sense if you thought that was still living here."_

"_Do you know where he went?"_

"_I didn't exchange more than pleasantries with the young man... sorry."_

_Ichigo mentally cursed himself. He had gotten so close to figuring out where Toshiro was… he couldn't stop now and he would never be able to forgive himself if he did._

"_Are you sure you don't remember anything he might have said? Or really anything he might have mentioned that might help?" Ichigo pleaded as he could feel the young genius getting further and further from him every passing second, which only served to make the strawberry that much more desperate._

_The woman paused again. "There was… another man I think… He was helping the young boy you're talking about pack up things."_

_Ichigo's head shot up instantly and the words seemed to leave his lips even before they left his brain. "Was he really tall, always grinning and never seemed to open his eyes?"_

"_Yes, I believe so… Do you know that man as well?"_

"_I do." The strawberry nodded solemnly. "I'm sorry, but there's just one more thing I'd like to ask you if that's okay."_

"_Sure." The woman smiled warmly. She didn't know this boy in front of her, what he was doing, or even why he was looking for a boy whom had lived here more than two years ago, but she could tell that he meant no harm to either her or her husband and there was just something about him that told her to try and help this boy as much as she could. Trisha wasn't devoutly religious in any aspect of the word, but she did believe that this Ichigo was in need of any help he could get. "I'm sure you want to know where that man lives..?" Ichigo nodded and before he could say anything the woman disappeared from the doorframe leaving just her husband and Ichigo to stand awkwardly in front of each other wondering why the woman had rushed off so suddenly._

"_Trisha…?" The man asked questioningly, unknowing if he should try and help his wife find whatever it was she was looking for, but soon had the decision made for him and the petite woman returned to face the strawberry._

"_I remember finding this after cleaning the house after we first moved in." She said softly as she held out the object in question so that Ichigo could grasp it lightly as though it were as fragile as holding a snowflake. "I'm sure it will do you much more good than it ever did me." Trisha smiled, and once again held out her hand to the strawberry; but this time to shake his hand and wish him goodnight and good luck in finding his young friend._

In hindsight, Ichigo should have seen it coming, but that was the thing about hindsight… it doesn't hit you until it actually hits you, and then that's when you finally figure out what you should have been doing all along. He had been delayed, there was no doubt about that, but he was still clinging to the hope that it wasn't too late to get Toshiro back. He attempted in vain to dial Toshiro's number but every single time it went straight to voicemail and after what seemed to be the tenth time came to the conclusion that he would not be able to reach the genius this way and gave up as he reluctantly put his phone away in his pants pocket.

The orange-haired teenager slightly chuckled to himself at how ridiculous he probably looked right about now… a random teenager sprinting around town in the dead of night looking like he was trying to get away from something or possibly something that he might have done; when in fact it was the complete opposite… he was trying to get back to that thing because of something that he _didn't_ do, but who would believe that? _Could Gin possibly live any farther away? _ Ichigo couldn't even begin to fathom how Toshiro walked back and forth from school everyday being as far away as he was… he really hoped that he was going to the right place. That woman, Trisha, seemed sure though that it would help him, but Ichigo was starting to lose faith in the small piece of valuable information that he had managed to get his hands on.

Ichigo could feel his muscles start to burn, his heart rate skyrocket and even felt the adrenaline continue to pump through his body and even though he was breathing heavily and felt the sweat tickle the back of his neck, he continued to run and he would continue to run until his legs gave out on him. The strawberry felt a renewed surge of energy as he finally reached the top of a hill he had been running up and then as he reached the peak he could saw a row of houses not terribly unlike the ones that already surrounded him. Despite never being in this part of town before, Ichigo knew exactly where he was going as his chocolate brown eyes rested at last on the house he had been searching for and part of him breathing a sigh of relief after starting to think that he might never actually reach his destination.

The strawberry, who by now was breathing rather unsteadily, attempted to fill his oxygen deprived lungs after his most recent spontaneous burst of sprinting throughout what seemed like the entirety of Karakura. Quickly checking the number on the mailbox to see that he really was at the right place, it would be beyond awkward to walk into yet another random person's house looking for a boy which was clearly not there. As Ichigo approached the house, he realized that it probably wouldn't be the best idea to charge into the house, guns blazing all around and having no idea what may or may not meet him inside once he did. So slowly taking in his surroundings, Ichigo snuck silently over to a small window just a few feet from the door he had been previously standing in front of and crouched down so that he would not be seen and yet still be able to poke his head out just enough to see what was happening inside.

The glass seemed slightly odd to Ichigo as he tried to gaze into the house they concealed. He _could _see into the house, but what he saw seemed slightly warped and because of this, it wasn't as clear to the strawberry what exactly he was seeing. _Maybe just a defunked window pane…?_ The strawberry silently moved from his position and attempted to locate another window, but when he did he found yet another pane of almost twisted glass… _this can't be a coincidence… warped glass means distorted vision, which must mean that something happens in the house that the owner doesn't want to broadcast to the public… _

If Ichigo truly tried to focus, he could see two distinct figures towards the back of the room. The smaller of the two figures was lying still on the ground, his back against the wall while the other much larger figure stood over him, seemingly relishing in the pain and fear exuding from the other. The strawberry remained frozen to the spot regardless of the screaming of his brain telling him to get the fuck in there. It was obvious who the smaller figure was, and it was obvious who the larger figure was…. it was even more obvious what the larger figure wanted to do to the smaller, but it wasn't until said larger figure finally decided to descend on his prey that Ichigo reacted. He bolted to the door and pulled at it with all his might, but it remained solid and stoic refusing to yield to the strawberry. _Idiot! Of course he wouldn't leave the door wide open for someone to just waltz in!_ Ichigo thought to himself as he could see the figure of Gin lifting his 'lover' from his previous position on the floor so that he could just shove the boy roughly into the adjacent wall and watch in triumph as the boy slumped back down to the floor. Said boy looked up with half lidded eyes, his mouth opened to say something, but it was so soft that Ichigo couldn't even hope to hear and Gin simply laughed.

Ichigo _had_ to get in the house, but as to _how_ was currently the pressing issue at moment, which just seemed to egg on the strawberry. If he didn't get in there right now, well then, Toshiro was going to be in serious trouble and that was something that Ichigo knew for sure. Ichigo looked around to a see the bare lawn that he was currently on, but right across the street the people had a few pretty big potted plants and well, Ichigo reasoned, this was an emergency and unconventional methods seemed like the only way he was going to get anything accomplished. The orange haired teenager raced as fast as he could across the street, grabbing one of the plants before silently apologizing to whomever he was currently lifting it from and half ran, half waddled back towards the fox's house. Without a second to waste, he ran as fast as he could towards the window in front of him and with a loud crash strawberry, plant, and window collided as Ichigo found himself sprawled out on some sort of couch covered in potting soil, numerous small cuts from both the broken window glass and pot, while all the while staring into the stunned face of Gin Ichimaru.

Instantly jumping up to his feet, Ichigo shook his hair in an attempt to get out most of the dirt currently decorating his bright, orange mane. Gin quickly recovered his composition despite the fact that Ichigo Kurosaki had just come barreling through his living room window with potted plant in hand.

"My, My, what brings tha strawberry ova here ta mah neck of tha woods?" The fox grinned as he causally turned to face the person that had just come flying through the window, while stepping to the side ever so slightly so that Toshiro was no longer in Ichigo's field of vision.

Ichigo let out a low guttural growl out as he stared down the man in front of him. "Fuck off." He scowled as he stepped to the side deliberately to combat the fox's previous adjustment. Ichigo felt his blood boil when he was finally able to get a good look at Toshiro, who was still as of yet, frozen and crouched in the corner in the room. It also didn't help things that Toshiro's chest was completely exposed, so the bruises that covered his torso and arms were that much more noticeable against his pale skin… but the worst thing about the scene? The fact that most of the bruises weren't even fresh, they were obvious that they were days, weeks and even possibly months old.

"Tha's not a very nice thing ta say ta the host, now is it?" Gin sang playfully, enjoying the strawberry's pain. "An' if that's all you came here ta say than I'm gunna have ta ask ya ta leave; me an' Shiro still have some business tha' we need ta attend to."

"Don't." Ichigo practically yelled, "You. Dare."

"An' wha makes ya think ya can tell me what ta do in mah own home?"

"Cause I'm not going to let you lay another finger on Toshiro." Ichigo stated as he took another step closer towards Gin.

Toshiro could do nothing but stare blankly as he watched Ichigo face off against Gin. His whole body felt numb and he wasn't sure if it was due to Gin's 'games' or if it was due to the sudden and unexpected arrival of the strawberry. He had to admit to himself that there was a part of him that was hoping that Ichigo would come, but now that he was actually here… Toshiro realized that he didn't want to be responsible for putting Ichigo in that kind of danger and yet, he knew Ichigo would have undoubtedly come regardless.

Despite Gin's usual calm and easy going appearance, when he lost it, he _lost _it… and if anyone in the world was capable of doing that at the moment, it was Ichigo Kurosaki. Toshiro snapped out of his daze when he saw Ichigo calmly walking towards him and before he had the chance to warn him, Ichigo suddenly dropped to the ground rather unceremoniously.

"Ichigo…" The young prodigy breathed as he tried to gather the strength to crawl over to where the strawberry was currently sprawled out on the floor. "What are you doing?"

"Getting you out of here of course…" Ichigo muttered as he gathered himself and started rubbing his head while absentmindedly hoping that he wouldn't get a migraine later because Gin all of a sudden decided to whack him on the head while his back was turned. "But I guess I'm going to convince Gin here how much he doesn't deserve you first…"

"Wait, Ichig-" Toshiro started to say, but before he could finish, Ichigo waved him off as he pulled himself off the ground and once again faced Gin, yet this time with their positions switched.

"I believe yer mistaken Ichigo… Shiro isn't goin' anywhere."

"Is that so…?" Ichigo snorted. "Why don't we ask him what he wants? Or wait… does his opinion even matter to you?"

"Shiro's mine an' he knows it. There's no need ta ask him."

"Let's do it just for kicks…? If he's as dedicated to you as you believe then you have nothing to lose." Ichigo added, smiling with a grin to rival even that of one of Gin's.

"My, aren't ya a persistent one…" Ichigo continued to grin, which only seemed to unsettle the fox more and it didn't go unnoticed by Toshiro. He had been noticing changes in Gin's behavior in the past few weeks, the fox was even more protective, if that was even possible, not to mention more aggressive in his advances on the boy if he felt that Toshiro wasn't 100% committed to him. The fox was slowly unraveling and it seemed that the reemergence of the strawberry in their lives would only serve to put more pressure on Gin. Toshiro could sense that Gin was very close to losing it all in one large explosion and considering the current circumstances that night might very well be tonight if things kept going the way they were headed…

"Gin…" Toshiro took a deep breath before using the wall behind him to help himself get unsteadily to his feet.

"Yes, mah love…?" Gin drew out, making sure to keep strict eye contact with Ichigo as he strode over to where Toshiro was standing and wasted no time in capturing the boy's lips in a kiss if only for the sole purpose to reinforce the fact that the boy in his arms was his and his alone.

"I…I…" Toshiro stuttered, trying to force out those three wretched words that would surely remedy the situation and yet, they just didn't seem to want to form and flow off his tongue as they should… he needed to play his part and if that meant staying with Gin, then so be it.

"You don't have to do this Toshiro…" Ichigo said gently as he could only stare longingly at the clearly tormented boy. "You don't have to pretend anymore…" Ichigo paused, Toshiro needed to hear it out loud or he would never realize it. "Most of all, you don't have to protect me anymore… I know you've just been pushing me away to protect me and I'm telling you right now that you don't have to suffer anymore for my sake."

Gin chuckled at the strawberry's words, but the grin instantly faded as he noticed the internal battle waging inside of the smaller male still in his grip. He slowly brought his head down to Toshiro's level so that his breathe ghosted over his ear and proceeded to whisper four bone chillingly simple words. "You. Belong. To. Me."

"You and I both know you don't want this…"

"Ya know tha consequences."

"Think of yourself for once in your life!"

"I think it's time ya showed tha strawberry tha door; we have some matters tha still need attendin' ta."

"I'm done with feeling sorry for myself and I refuse to sit around and watch him tear you down more and more every day until there's nothing left… you don't deserve this!"

"I've had mah fun, now let's go Shiro." Gin turned around and was about to venture to his room where he knew they wouldn't be disturbed when he noticed Toshiro, still frozen on the spot. "Come now, Shiro."

"no…"

"Excuse meh?" Toshiro's voice had been so soft and there was still a large amount of uncertainty in the boy's voice, and yet the fox could feel his control of the boy slipping through his fingers every minute he remained in the strawberry's presence and if this continued, he would lose the boy forever, which was not an option.

"No." The young genius's voice was stronger and louder this time, he now sounded adamant at what he was saying as though he had finally made a decision. Toshiro yanked his arm away from Gin and its crazy how such a small gesture seemed to infuriate the fox as much as it did.

_Gin. The man who got everything he wanted. The man that always won. About to lose. To the damned Strawberry._

"I'm done, Gin. I'm tired of being pushed around, controlled and forced to endure your physical and emotional abuse. I don't owe you anything anymore." Toshiro calmly walked across the room to where his shirt had been discarded before pulling it over his head and walking over towards where Ichigo was standing instead of returning to the stunned fox.

"Goodbye."

It was the last thing the genius cared to say before turning to walk out the door with Ichigo at his side. Given the chance again, Toshiro wasn't really sure what else there was to be said to the man behind them… a part of him wanted to tell him that he _had_ at one point actually loved him and he was pretty sure that Gin legitimately _had_ cared for him, but things had changed and to be able to sum up in just a few words… that served quite a task.

"Comon Toshiro, let's go get you checked out; you look horrible." Ichigo said as he gently placed a hand on the smaller male's shoulder as he guided the boy out of the house.

"Not as bad as bad as it looks." Toshiro replied quietly, despite continuing to lean on the strawberry for support; but before the pair could step out of the house completely, Ichigo stopped for a moment causing Toshiro to look up with a puzzled expression.

"I'll be back later to collect Toshiro's things." The actual words insignificant and yet the meaning was plainly obvious.

Toshiro wasn't sure whether to be relived or scared out of him mind at this point. Why was Gin letting him just waltz out the door? Especially when it concerned who exactly he was walking out of the house with… it all seemed too easy. Gin never gave up… never… and yet, here he was just standing exactly where he had been for the past few minutes with a blank expression on his face as though all emotion in his body had drained from him…

"Comon Toshiro." Ichigo beckoned as he stepped out into the crisp late night air. The boy nodded before taking one more glance at the fox before going to rejoin the strawberry. Right as the pair had stepped out the door a cool, calm and chilling voice broke the silence.

"I see ya've made yer decision, Shirou... hope tha' ya don't regret it." Then, before either Ichigo or Toshiro could answer, the fox disappeared into the confines of his house.

As the two teenagers neared the street corner, the uneasy feeling in Toshiro's stomach refused to silence. He couldn't help to repress a shudder that Ichigo obviously mistook from being cold, which was evident when he took off his jacket and draped it over the smaller's shoulders. That however, was just about as far from the actual truth as one could get. The last sentence that Gin had uttered before they had walked out the door… it was haunting and Toshiro could only imagine what it could have possibly meant.

"Ichigo…"

"What's up, Toshiro?"

"I don't like this…"

"What do you mean?"

"This…" Toshiro waved his hands around in a vaguely general gesture which only served to confuse the strawberry further.

"Mind expanding on that thought a bit more?" Ichigo laughed.

"It was too easy…" Toshiro muttered as he stopped on the spot and glanced up in the strawberry's direction.

The other male simply shrugged. "Maybe he just finally figured that he couldn't control you anymore and it wouldn't be worth it?"

"Not likely." The smaller male countered quickly. "Gin doesn't admit defeat that easily. He thrives off controlling other people's lives so that he can make their lives as miserable as possible and it's _always _worth it for him."

"Well, I don't know what to tell you…" Ichigo said while shrugging his shoulders. "But it's over, so try not to think about it too much, okay?"

"I guess…" The young genius muttered. "Let's go, if I never see this place again it will be too soon."

"Leavin' so soon?" Toshiro froze. He should have known… he really should have. It was too easy… too fucking easy because deep down he knew that Gin would never let him walk out the door with another man, especially Ichigo… not unless he let them.

"Gin…" Ichigo snarled. "What the fuck do you think-" The strawberry turned around about ready to pound the fox to the ground when he realized what Gin was holding in his hand, his usual cruel grin back in place.

"Gin…" Toshiro started, and when he too noticed the small revolver grasped in his former lover's hands, pointing at where else, but Ichigo's chest. "You don't have to do this…"

"I told ya earlier… I'm not a big fan of sharin'."

"Gin, you do realize that if you shoot me right now, you're only going to be pushing Toshiro further away, right? This isn't the right way to resolve things between you." Ichigo said calmly, his hands up by his head to as not to provoke Gin unnecessarily.

"I've noticed mah Shiro's being pulled away from me fer quite some time now… he's made his decision and he's a stubborn one. I know tha' he's slippin' through mah fingers, but tha' doesn't mean I'm gonna accept it, ya get mah drift, Ichigo?"

"Gin-"

"No. I told ya before… ya belong ta me Shirou, and if I can't have ya, then _no-one_ can have ya." Gin smirked.

Ichigo heard the shot go off, closing his eyes and expecting to feel a blinding pain; but honestly apart from being cold from the being out in the street in the dead of the night and not to mention exhausted from running around town all night, he couldn't say he felt any different than a few seconds ago. _This isn't right… I've never been shot, but this just can't be right… I should feel __**something**__…!_ Ichigo opened his eyes, immediately noticing a few things: one, Gin was gone… as thought he had simply ceased existing, two, when he looked over his body he found no blood or otherwise injury, third and most terrifying of all, he noticed Toshiro was lying mere feet from him flat on the ground, his eyes wide in fear and blood flowing much too fast for Ichigo's liking, from a small puncture wound in his lower abdomen.

Meanwhile, far away from all the commotion, Gin walked calmly back into his house deposited the gun in the closest trash can and proceeded to head towards his bedroom as casually as though he had simply come back from a late night stroll.

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><p><strong>AN: I'm not sure if I absolutely loveee this chapter, but I really needed to write something to get back into the swing of things and this is what resulted from me wanting to be productive and get something uploaded. Reviews are as always extremely welcome and very much encouraged.**

**Thanks for reading and please review! :D  
><strong>


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